Dec 24, 2012

Mercy During War

Aerial Chivalry -The Story of Charlie Brown and Franz Stigler 

My Friend told me that incredible story about a German pilot who play a honored game during WW2. that's remind me also the story about the 1914 'football truce' anniversary 
 Encountering a mortally-wounded B-17 limping back to England, Luftwaffe ace Franz Stigler anticipated an easy kill and another opportunity to avenge his brother’s death at the opening of WWII. As he approached the virtually helpless American plane, however, he saw the faces of the dead and wounded crewmen. Then, Stigler’s eyes met those of pilot Charles Brown. Despite the potentially severe consequences of letting an enemy plane escape, Stigler felt that he had to answer a higher call of honor . . . mercy.

Expecting the worst at any moment, Brown marveled as the enemy Bf-109 stuck with him to the North Sea. His adversary then saluted and veered away, allowing the astonished Brown to journey safely home. With this encounter engraved into the minds of both pilots for decades after the war’s end, the two men remarkably located one another in 1990. In the years that followed, their friendship developed to the point where Stigler considered Brown to be as precious as the brother he had lost. Source

Dec 7, 2012

Polish Pizza

     Mark (Polish) ordered a family size pizza. "Shall I slice it into sixteen or eight slices?" asked him the seller. Mark replies "Please slice it into eight, I will not be able to eat sixteen"

Aussie Humor? The Dalai Lama, is not at his age and his English is "Tibetish" 

Nov 30, 2012

The Last Dog In China

I heard many stories about the Chinese who like to eat dogs. On my visits in China I never saw pets. Here you mat see the last dog, whose owner Mr. Chung use him as a private guard. If any of you have pictures of pets in China please let us see them.

Nov 9, 2012

Bean Soup

    My friend Gordon loves to eat bowls of bean soup. But since his marriage to Sue, he stopped eating all the foods that mix up his stomach and produce noises and odor, like a chemistry laboratory. Sue never cook beans nor cauliflower and never let him eat any piece of radish.
    Yesterday Gordon had a real bad day, his boss called him at the end of the day handed him an envelope which means he is laid off. He went to the parking place and the engine died. Gordon was really pissed off. he tried to pick a cab but it was a bad day, no cabs around so he walked home. After a while it start raining and Gordon got wet. suddenly he smelled the odor of a bean soup. he looks around and find himself in front of a small restaurant. 

Gordon ordered  a bowl of homemade bean soup, and now he feels much better. He ordered another one and finally left heading home.
 All the way home Gordon farts, his farts were always sounded like Graham, but after the bean soup they seem to became Trump phi. In the Navy we used to call the different farts: Graham - very strong but short, Trump - a serial farts loud but with a nice melody and Josef - like a whisper but stink like rotten eggs. 
   Finally Gordon find himself at his home, Sue opened the door kissed him and covered his eyes whispering "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." Sue then led him to his chair at the table. She warn him not to open his eyes till she will return. Gordon was bursting and he start releasing the pressure, Trump, Trump phi, Graham, the odor was terrible and Gordon grab the dish and work it like a hand held fan, he also start to sing to overcome the Trumps. "We are marching to Pretoria, Trump, Pretoria, Trump........."
Sue entered the dining room and cried "Happy Birthday to Gordon" Gordon takes off the goggles looked at his friends and family seating at the table holding their noses.

Nov 5, 2012

The Homeless That Will Smile Again

Gordon my old friend sent me once again that short-film with it's moral "how the wheel turns". One moment you are up and the next moment you are in deep shit. I believe that you just need to ask for your family and your friends help, and not for the help of the bottle or the powder. Please take your time watch that short-film and thank God for all you get.
Look around smile and imagine how your family love you, God bless you.

I weep by the end of that sentimental film.

Oct 28, 2012

Dating Advice For Muslims Jews and Chinese

If you are over 28 years old and you are still searching for a bride, you better ask your congregation minister for helping you. most Muslims, Chinese and Jews need their parents permission for the selected bride.

Oct 22, 2012

My Mom Is The Substitute

  The teacher explained the pupils the difference between profession and occupation.
Then she asked the class to describe their parent's occupations and professions.  
  Sue raised her hand and told the class that her dad is a bus driver and her Mom is a nurse, working at the hospital.
Bobby told them about his father, who is an architect but makes a living of selling D2D.
"Very nice Bobby", the teacher encouraged him. "That's really a good example for our lesson".
Tommy told them proudly about his mother who is a real estate broker despite the fact she has a PHD in English literature.
"That's another great example" said the teacher.
  Now little Johnny told the class "as you know my father is a gambler playing on the web mostly Texas HoldEm Poker, and my Mom is working as a substitute"

"Substitute?  is she a substitute teacher?" asked the teacher.
"Oh no", replied little Johnny "she is just the substitute".
"What kind of occupation does your Mom have?" the teacher asked. "Will you explain us what does your Mom do as a substitute??"
Little Johnny grinned and explained the class "every day between 18:00 to 20:00 Mom invites the men to her bedroom".
The teacher changed colors and told little Johnny his mother is a prostitute not a substitute!
Little Johnny kept smiling while he proceed "no, my sister Dee is the hooker, but every day for two hours Mom works as a substitute"
The Best Whorehouse In Texas 

Oct 20, 2012

How Much Money Can Make A Police Officer

My Friend Roman sent me that clip about poor police officers who are making money from the drivers. They didn't bother the government people, they only charge regular drivers.

Oct 5, 2012

The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each of you, you will really feel great".

The excitement was almost electric, as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke!! 
It slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit !" .... cried the hypnotist.....................

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.

Sep 28, 2012

Bad Dogs - No Boy

Gordon my friend sent me a post about some bad dogs. I can't believe there are bad dogs but just for laugh that's Okay. If you had some bad experience with your dog let us hear about it.

Here is a short clip, about a really rude dog, the clip is not recommended for watching to those who can't watch disgusting scenes. you must see that clip to the end.

Please no hard feeling it's set up, just to embrace you all dog lovers.

Sep 18, 2012

DIY How To Became A Polish Widow

   Only Polish woman don't care about their husbands. They prefer a shiny diamond rather a sick husband. Last year I met plenty of widows on my Caribbean cruise. Helena a lush lady from Chicago told me how she became a widow.

Sep 16, 2012

Pure Logic

My friend Jack the philosopher told me about the way he use logic in real life.

Yesterday morning, on his way home, Jack noticed a good looking man on the street,
his presence causes Jack to think ...
"That rooster, doesn't look like going so early for his day work, so ... he must be returning..."
From where can a person like him get back so early, so neat and smell's so well?....
Only from an affair.....!!!, off course with a married women, and she must be lush....

But ... Our neighborhood has only six adulterous wives.
Dee? Rose? no, they are now on a Caribbean cruise. 
Sarah? no her husband is back home returning fro Afghanistan.
Betty? but I just left her bed.
Sandra? but Sandra picked up yesterday a Marine worrier at the bar.
And ... My wife Peggy???

But my wife has only three lovers ...
Her boss ... My boss ... and a famous attorney from the fourth Ave, his name is Gordon.
"Good morning, Mr. Gordon" Jack says.
"Good morning, but where do you know me?" Asked Gordon.
"Simple logic, I like solving Sudoku"  Jack replied.


Sep 3, 2012

Try To Remember The Kind Of September

I love so much that song, even after the Sep. 11 2001 crime.
God bless you all, just lets pray the bad men all over the world, will be locked behind bars.
I remember that song from the first days, my parents gave me that record as a present for my birthday which is at the end of this month.
p.s. I hate listening to the song, when the smart guys are broadcasting it at December.

Verse 1
Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and, oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September when
you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and
if you remember
Then follow (echo)
Follow follow
Follow follow follow
follow follow follow

Verse 2
Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow
Try to remember when life was so tender
that dreams were kept beside your pillow
Try to remember when life was so tender that
love was and ember about to billow
Try to remember, and
if you remember Then follow (echo)
Follow follow etc.

Verse 3
Deep in December it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Without a hurt, the heart is hollow.
Deep in december it's nice to remember the
fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember,
And follow (echo)
follow follow etc.
Try To Remember - Jerry Orbach 1960 

Jerry Orbach Try To Remember 1982 

Aug 8, 2012

Golden Fish And The Black Hole

My friend Danny sent me that great clip with the moral "remember the fisherman's wife" so my friends stop being greedy. work till 16:00 go home drink a beer and enjoy your family.

Jul 31, 2012

Proud Fathers

Proud father version 1
Once upon a time Jeff went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.

he sits down waiting for the delivery, finally the nurse says, "Congratulations Jeff, your
wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys." 
The Redneck boastfully says, "I'm not surprised, I have a dork the size of a chimney." 
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are black."

Proud father version 2 
Four old friends met after 25 years they were telling each other about the old days. After five rounds of beers Jeff leaves for a bathroom break. Bob says, “I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars instead studying college. but pretty soon he became a car salesman, and after ten years he became a dealer. he’s so successful that he just gave his friend a new Mercedes as a birthday present.”

Tom says, “I was worried about my son too, because he started as a driver for a construction company, but very soon he refurbish homes and sell them and after ten years he became the CEO of that construction company. he’s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house as a birthday present.”

Gerry says, “Yeah, I hear you. my son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. but within ten years he is cutting fat coupons millions bucks.he’s so wealthy that he just gave his friend half a million bucks 
as a birthday present.”

Jeff comes back from the Loo. Bob asked him to tell what makes him a proud father. Jeff says, “Well, my son starts working as a barber and after ten years he still working as a barber last week he told us he’s gay. But, I try to look at the bright side one of his friends just bought him a new Mercedes, another friend gave him a wonderful house, and Guy his best friend gave him half a million bucks for his birthday.”

Jul 22, 2012

Shoulder Arms

Lets enjoy an old movie of Charlie Chaplin "Shoulder Arms" about  an American Soldier in France participating the Great War at 1918. Charlie try to became an hero who goes on a daring mission behind enemy lines.

 Part 1

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Full Film

Jul 21, 2012

Prince Hunting

Dee learn by trial and error how to hunt her prince.

Safe Sex

Finally Dee hunted her big fish

Jul 14, 2012

Wishful Thinking, You May Dream

Gordon my friend sent me that clip, hilarious. so share it with your ladies two.

Jul 5, 2012

The Biggest Asshole

My friend Gordon told me about the great party he participated last week. He ate one of the most delicious medallions of meat at a party. so he asked the host about that dish. the host whispered that that is an elephant meat and gave him the details of the deli store. Gordon hurried yesterday to the store asking for the Elephant meat. The Seller asked him what kind of elephant meat he would like and Gordon asks for his advise. So the seller recommended him to buy the butt slices, Gordon bought six cans of elephant butt meat.
The next day Gordon conduct a party for our best friend beers and elephant meat. As he opened the first can he found it empty, so he opened the second can and it was empty too and so were all the rest of the cans. Gordon became really mad so he called the deli store. "hey Jeff, you sold me six cans of elephants meat and I found no meat in the cans."
The seller asks Gordon "remind me please what kind of meat did you ordered?" Gordon replies The elephants butt meat". "poor man" the seller said "they pack your cans with the elephant's asshole", it's your blooming luck.

Jun 30, 2012

Room 808

I was sitting in the lobby and suddenly a pretty woman entered. I closed my eyes and start dreaming about.....

Jun 23, 2012

Tapas Bar - Barcelona

I returned last week from a wonderful weekend in Barcelona. I like pubing in Spanish bars cause of their great tapas. Boozing Beer (Cervesa) and biting some Spanish sausages makes me hungry, so I must have some tomato bread and Parmesan. and here we start the speciality of the Spanish cuisine the Jamón serrano (ham).
Lets start the morning with churros (Spanish doughnut)  and a nice cup of chocolate. 

Liquid Chocolate
Now after smelling the Gothic District of Barcelona it's time to sit and have launch. I love to eat Paella, but now lets try another special Spanish dish. Tortilla de Patatas or as the Spanish use to call it Patatas del Mama. that's an omlette of chips and sausages which give you enough reasons to go back to your hotel for a two hours nap, yep.

The secret of a great Sangria is the Cognac..

Jamon Serrano the best ham you will eat. the basic tapas include a sausage dish, have one with a cold beer and then you are ready to eat the real Spanish tapas, the Pulpo 

Pulpo and Calamaritos are the most famous dishes in Spain. The Spanish people likes  more the Pulpo (octopus).

Tomatoes bread and Parmesan Cheese just a basic dish for less then two Euro (two bucks). Link

Take a Gambas just ask and taste all the styles.
Pedro show me his wine collection.
Now here are two clips instructing how to prepare Churros and Tortilla de Pattatas.
Churros recipe 

Tortilla de Patatas

Jun 17, 2012

Street Ballads

On my previous post I present one popular clip about the three German running the spoon game. Here it is once again just have fun.

But suddenly out of the blew, I start singing the old forgotten street ballad some melody

Hinky-Dinky Parlez-vous (Mademoiselle from Armentieres)

Three German Officers (Tune - "Inky, Dinky, Parlez-veus") - Source
Three German officers crossed the Rhine,
Three German officers crossed the Rhine,
Three German officers crossed the Rhine,
They fucked the women and drank the wine,
Inky, dinky, parlez-veus.

They came upon a wayside inn,
Shit on the mat and walked right in.

Oh landlord have you a daughter fair,
Lily-white tits and golden hair?

At last they got her on a bed,
Fucked her till her cheeks were red.

And then they took her to a shed,
Fucked her till she was nearly dead.

They took her down a shady lane,
Fucked her back to life again.

They took her up in an aeroplane,
Squeezed her tits and made it rain.

They fucked her up, they fucked her down,
They tucked her right around the town.

They fucked her in, they fucked her out,
They fucked her up her waterspout.

Now she lives in our town,
Sells her cunt for half a crown.

Seven months went and all was well,
Eight months went and she started to swell.

Nine months went and she gave a grunt,
And a little white bugger popped out her cunt.

The little white bugger he grew and grew,
He fucked his mother and sister too.

The little white bugger he went to hell,
He fucked the Devil and his wife as well.

Mademoiselle from Armenteers - Source

        Mademoiselle from Armenteers, parlez-veus,
        Mademoiselle from Armenteers, parlez-veus,

    You didn't have to know her long
    To find the reason men went wrong
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    She sold her kisses for ten francs each
    Soft and juicy -- as sweet as a peach
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    I had more fun than I can tell
    Beneath the sheets with Mademoiselle
   Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    I fell in love with her at sight
    Waked myself for half the night
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    She go to church and say her prayers
    And make a beeline for the stairs
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    She'd give a wink and cry qui qui
    Let us see what you can do with me
   Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    On her bed she sure was fun
    Moving her ass like a Maxim Gun
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    I fucked with her but I fucked to much
    Today when I walk I use a crutch
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    She'd grab your pick and give it a squeeze
    'Till it hung down below your knees
   Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    in all the bars
    she'd roll her ass
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

    She could hold her drink without a doubt
    She was going strong when I passed out
    Inky-pinky parlez-veus

Jun 6, 2012

Don't Fuck With Me

Or I am gonna to squeeze your balls and shit down your throat. Always beware of Voodoo Mama.

May 4, 2012

iPad Magic

Beer Magic

iPad Horror Tales

The Spoon Game (Das löffelspiel ) - That's a Meat head Link

Magician use iPad - Link

iPad Floats like a balloon

May 2, 2012

Distribution Of My US Visitors

   Here is the data about my USA visitors, of course California is at the top, but let me understand why so many other states  have such a small representation? I'm sure that pattern repeats approximately in other sites too. my assumptions are, that the visitors distribution should be according to the population percentage of the states and the average level of income.
If any of you can investigate his site and or his blog and share the information, this might be very interest. May be they are more important parameters but my guide line is the rule "make it simple".

1. United States2,832

StateUnique VisitorsLast New Visitor
1.1.California1,4055 hours    ago
1.2.Washington439April 19, 2012
1.3.Georgia144April 26, 2012
1.4.New York108April 17, 2012
1.5.Iowa8616 hours ago
1.6.South Carolina79April 30, 2012
1.7.Texas62April 17, 2012
1.8.Oregon49April 28, 2012
1.9.Florida46March 27, 2012
1.10.Virginia44April 18, 2012
1.11.Ohio33April 10, 2012
1.12.Illinois31April 11, 2012
1.13.Pennsylvania26April 18, 2012
1.14.Alabama21April 17, 2012
1.15.Michigan19April 11, 2012
1.16.North Carolina16March 1, 2012
1.17.Colorado14December 20, 2011
1.18.Maryland14March 3, 2012
1.19.Massachusetts14April 12, 2012
1.20.New Jersey13February 9, 2012
1.21.Arizona10March 16, 2012
1.22.District of Columbia108 hours ago
1.23.Louisiana10April 14, 2012
1.24.Minnesota8March 23, 2012
1.25.Missouri8February 7, 2012
1.26.Connecticut8March 3, 2012
1.27.Indiana8March 28, 2012
1.28.Tennessee7March 3, 2012
1.29.Wisconsin6August 11, 2011
1.30.Mississippi5March 4, 2012
1.31.Nevada5April 8, 2012
1.32.Kansas4April 13, 2012
1.33.Kentucky4March 8, 2012
1.34.Arkansas4February 9, 2012
1.35.Montana3October 22, 2011
1.36.Oklahoma3June 22, 2011
1.37.Maine3December 17, 2011
1.38.Utah3April 10, 2012
1.39.New Mexico3February 27, 2012
1.40.Hawaii3April 15, 2012
1.41.Nebraska3March 16, 2012
1.42.Idaho2May 7, 2011
1.43.Rhode Island2March 10, 2012
1.44.New Hampshire2February 26, 2012
1.45.Vermont1January 17, 2011
1.46.Delaware1April 1, 2011
1.47.Wyoming1November 10, 2011
1.48.Alaska1November 16, 2011
1.49.South Dakota1December 31, 2011

Unknown40April 11, 2012

49 out of 51 collected. 

Top 5 States - Table
Rank    State           Pop. %        Visitors %  
1          California        12                 50
2          Washington       2.2             15
3          Georgia             3.2               5
4          New York           6.4               4
5          Iowa                  1                  3        

Resident Population, 2009  Source  

State Population My Visitors Rank    %    Pop.

    United States 307,006,550

1  California    36,961,664 1 12.0
2  Texas 24,782,302 7 8.1
3  New York 19,541,453 4 6.4
4  Florida 18,537,969 9 6.0
5  Illinois 12,910,409 12 4.2
6  Pennsylvania 12,604,767 13 4.1
7  Ohio 11,542,645 11 3.8
8  Michigan 9,969,727 15 3.2
9  Georgia 9,829,211 3 3.2
10  North Carolina 9,380,884 16 3.1
11  New Jersey 8,707,739 20 2.8
12  Virginia 7,882,590 10 2.6
13  Washington 6,664,195 2 2.2
14  Arizona 6,595,778 21 2.1
15  Massachusetts 6,593,587 19 2.1
16  Indiana 6,423,113 27 2.1
17  Tennessee 6,296,254 28 2.1
18  Missouri 5,987,580 25 2.0
19  Maryland 5,699,478 18 1.9
20   Wisconsin 5,654,774 29 1.8
21  Minnesota 5,266,214 24 1.7
22  Colorado 5,024,748 17 1.6
23  Alabama 4,708,708 14 1.5
24  South Carolina 4,561,242 6 1.5
25  Louisiana 4,492,076 23 1.5
26  Kentucky 4,314,113 33 1.4
27  Oregon 3,825,657 8 1.2
28  Oklahoma 3,687,050 36 1.2
29  Connecticut 3,518,288 26 1.1
30  Iowa 3,007,856 5 1.0
31  Mississippi 2,951,996 30 1.0
32  Arkansas 2,889,450 34 0.9
33  Kansas 2,818,747 32 0.9
34  Utah 2,784,572 38 0.9
35  Nevada 2,643,085 31 0.9
36  New Mexico 2,009,671 39 0.7
37  West Virginia 1,819,777 37 0.6
38  Nebraska 1,796,619 41 0.6
39  Idaho 1,545,801 42 0.5
40  New Hampshire 1,324,575 44 0.4
41  Maine 1,318,301 37 0.4
42  Hawaii 1,295,178 40 0.4
43  Rhode Island 1,053,209 43 0.3
44   Montana 974,989 35 0.3
45  Delaware 885,122 46 0.3
46  South Dakota 812,383 49 0.3
47  Alaska 698,473 48 0.2
48  North Dakota 646,844 NA 0.2
49  Vermont 621,760 45 0.2
50  Wyoming 544,270 47 0.2
51  District of Columbia 599,657 22 0.2