Jun 28, 2011

Bad Question!!!!

   On his 64th birthday Lt Columbo got a gift certificate from his wife Dee. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
When I'm 64th - Beatles 

    The old man slowly, methodically produced a portion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a spoonful and then say ‘1-2-3’. ‘When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

    Lt Columbo was encouraged. As he walks away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." Lt. Columbo was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Dee to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, He took off his clothes and said, ‘1-2-3!’ Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
Dee was excited and took off her clothes. And then she asked, ‘What was the 1-2-3 for?’

   Now I hope you will learn that lesson "never end your sentences with a preposition" because you could end up with a dangling participle. Source 
  Peter Falk, the American actor who died on June 23 aged 83, is best remembered for his TV program Lt Columbo. I respect him as one of the top three detectives at the Hall of Fame. RIP.

Jun 26, 2011

The Last Ring

   The Guinness record for most pierced person in 2000 belongs to Ms. Elaine Davidson (46) which was pierced 720 times, but on the next ten years she claimed the new record is 6,925 piercings. Just imagine, I calculate it that on the average, she  added eleven new piercing per week. Believe it or not she add almost six pounds of metal rings.
That amazing and bizarre woman got finally one more ring, she married Mr. Douglas Watson (60) his body is clean no tattoo  and not any piercing. Tell me man how are you gonna kiss the bride eh? Additionally she use to sleep on a special nail bed, come on man beware with that bride.

Piercing for the new record?

Jun 25, 2011

Coffee or Tea

    Franky the yuppy was very proud of himself he had today, a lucky day with his Forex business, he made almost one million bucks profit. Suddenly went into his office an old man with a small jar. The old man offers him to buy the goldfish in the jar for one million bucks. "You're crazy!", Laughed Franky, "one million bucks in exchange for a small fish in a jar?" "It's not just a fish, its the goldfish from the fairy tales" replied the old man.
   The old man shook the jar and the goldfish stood on his tail and said: "Yes sir, what's your order" "Bring us two cups of coffee," said the old man, in less than a second, two cups of steaming coffee landed on the desk.
Franky became greedy and faster than light he gave the old man a briefcase with the dough, in exchange for the golden fish. after the old man left he shook the jar and the goldfish stands up on his tail and say: "Yes sir, what do you want?" Franky ordered him "I want my million bucks back and a 200ft yacht and stunningly beautiful blonde girl"
"Sorry," replied the goldfish, "All I do is just tea or coffee ..."

Mr Bean's Goldfish

Jun 22, 2011

Beat bureaucracy

   How to overcome the bureaucrat, did you ever find yourself in a situation like that? here is a nice clip showing you how to handle them.

That's Spain amigos! by Brian Semmens English subtitles

Jun 21, 2011

Our Cute Kids

   Yesterday I saw a hilarious movie Small Change by François Truffautit  is a comedy with a serious message, based around the daily lives of young children in a small town in France.  One of the thrilling Scenes brings us a cute baby and a cat playing on an open windowsill, on the nine floor, falling all the way down like a doll. You will enjoy many scenes about school life which will remind you about your school days. Yet throughout this the difficulties and responsibilities faced by children appear, including the ongoing story of a boy's experience of an abusive home. Truffaut gives a message of resilience in the face of injustice, vocalized through one of the teachers. The story ends with a message of hope, the school closing for the summer vacation, and one of the key characters finding his first love at a summer camp. Most of the characters were not professional actors. The cute baby Gregory acting here in two great scenes reminds me The Kid (Jackie Coogan) of Charlie Chaplin which was acted by a five years old boy performing his job excellent.

The Scene of the miracle - The baby is playing on an open window.

The Baby and his Mom.

Trailer "L'argent de poche" - "Small Change"

The Kid - Charlie Chaplin, The Glazier Scene.

Jun 19, 2011

The New Consultant

    Lady Dee a widdow on our block owned a "cinamon" tomcat.  He was big and mean and had a dingle dangle that, on a cat, at least, was not to be believed.  In the mating season, everywhere this tomcat went, the tabbies were sure to be following close behind.  Every night our neighborhood was under siege with the worst cacophony of cat screams and howls that you could imagine and, based on what I've told you already, you might indeed be able to imagine.

    Well, Lady Dee realized she had to do something about it, one day she did just that. She took her tomcat to the vet for solving our problem. Our neighborhood settled into a long period of quiet late at night and we all slept the sleep of the just, quiet and undisturbed. Lo and behold, however, one night the screaming and the howling resumed.  We soon saw that now the cinamon tomcat was at the center of attention of the local TOMCATS!  We couldn't figure it out so we asked Lady Dee:  "Didn't you "fix" him".  "Yes I did", she answered.  "So why is there so much screaming at night", we asked.  "Now he's acting as a sex consultant to the other cats".

   In honor to my best friend Moishe - LEH who is the greatest story tellers among the lawyers and one of the greatest lawyers I ever met.

But lets enjoy Rossini's "Cats Duet"

Jun 12, 2011

Little Ned

   One of my best friends introduce me with the article about Ned Nefer strange story.
Source   Ned Nefer, 38yr old New York man married to a mannequin. Ned Nefer is a one-woman man - even if that woman is made entirely of wood. Nefer, 38, says he's married to a mannequin named Teagan, and the kooky couple is traveling 70 miles from Syracuse to Watertown on foot, the Watertown Daily Times reported.

   Or at least Nefer is walking. The Syracuse native is pushing his 6-foot wooden wife in a wheelchair across upstate New York. "This is definitely one of the oddest things I've come across, but he seems very happy," said Lisa Spear, principal social welfare examiner for the Jefferson County Department of Social Services. "I wouldn't classify him as dangerous at all," she told the newspaper after meeting with Nefer. "He seemed quite happy in his own little world." Now maybe in another nine months she will give birth to a new Pinocchio?
    That's remind me the story about Little Pinks who pushed his cripple bride from NYC to Miami all the way down in a wheel-chair. That hilarious short story was written by Damon Runyon in The Big Street (1942) 

Jun 4, 2011

They Miss Mom

   Each of us misses his mother, is it not true about you. So enjoy the songs and remember to bless God and your Mom for all you got. any of you who can help me with more beautiful songs sung in honor of Mother Just tell me what are your favorite song for our mom.
I believe that all mothers in the world got the same behavioral traits, and we all were feeling their concerns for us.

   This post I wrote after reading the article on Chinese "Tiger Mom" Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - Amy Chua.
Mamma - Ti lascio una canzone

Luciano Pavarotti - Mamma son tanto felice Lyrics

The Mom Song with lyrics she is faster then light

Leila Forouhar - Madar (Mother) (Persian)

p.s. Good Moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids.

Elvis Presley with his parents so touchy - Source

Heintje - Oma so lieb ( 1968 )

Jun 2, 2011

World Idol

    Diving deep enough in the tubes of YouTube, gives me a lot of fun. This time I was searching for new talents across the globe and because I like Chinese, I found an amazing lovely Chinese dwarf 23yrs old, with an happy end, she and her boyfriend are a really nice couple.

What are you thinking about the nice couple, are they gonna become superstars in American movie industry?

Next to Romania Idol, listen to the young talent using his soprano, I am sure soon we all hear about him. Please remember his name Narcis Iustin Ianau

May be they were more talents but for me Joselito is the best.

And finally the British talent is a great drummer, he his only 12yrs old and he is performing like the first class drummers, three times hurray!!!