Promote the Pastor

Pastor Tomas announced his congregation that he was planning to leave for Boston where his salary will be doubled. The whole congregation starts mumbling, because no one wants him to leave they really loved him and his wife the piano teacher.    Bill Campbell the Dentist stands up and proclaims "If the Pastor stays, I will contribute five grand per year for the Pastors salary" Eddy Horbat, the Drugstore owner proclaims "If the Pastor stays, I will contribute ten grand per year for the Pastors salary". The audience applauded, now Jim Brown the real estate agent, promised twenty grand per year. More sighs and loud applause.    One by one each member of the congregation contributes some money into the pot to convince the Pastor to stay with them. Finally Mrs. Dee Schultz, age 75 a natural blond stands up and announces with her hoarse voice "If the Pastor stays, I will give him sex!"    For a moment  the audience became silence, and then somebody started to laugh and for almost five minutes nobody could stop it.  Tomas the Pastor asked her "Mrs. Schultz, we know you, as religious person and a nice grandma, why did you said that?" Mrs. Dee replied:  "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "Fuck him". Deviations of that phrase "Fuck him" are the base of many jokes regarding blond vs service providers, I promise to cover them all, all of them are "old like dirt" or old like Rasputin's beard.