Aug 2, 2011

Hiding in a Fridge

  Abe comes home from work early because he's convinced that his wife Dee is having an affair and he wants to catch her in flagrante delicto.  So he tears through the apartment way up on the 10th floor of a luxury apartment building.  Dee chases him around the apartment shouting at him "have you lost your mind, are you crazy, what kind of woman do you think I am etc etc."  Abe finds no one in the closets, under the beds, in the shower etc.

   Abe goes out on the balcony to see if anyone is hiding out there.  He sees a pair of hands holding onto the balcony railing and sure enough there's a guy hanging from the railing.  Abe now is truly insane and he's hammering the hands and biting them but the guy hanging from the railing is holding on for dear life because its...10 stories to the street.  Abe takes a chair from the balcony furniture and smashes the guy's hands and of course the guy can't hold on anymore and he falls 10 stories to the street but he doesn't die because he falls into a garbage dumpster.  Abe has truly gone berserk at this stage and runs into the kitchen and pushes the refrigerator out onto the balcony to push over the rail to fall on the guy in the dumpster and kill him.  The first part of the plan works perfectly; the refrigerator falls into the dumpster and kills the guy.  But, Abe  overbalances in doing all this and he falls over the balcony railing and lands on the refrigerator and dies.

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates of Heaven and three guys come walking up to him. The first guy is Abe the crazy husband. Saint Peter asks him - why are you here? Abe tells the whole story including the wife chasing him around screaming at him and seeing the guy hanging from the rail and the refrigerator and overbalancing etc. Saint Peter says that this is clearly a crime of passion and he therefore sees no reason why Abe should not be allowed into Heaven.

Saint Peter asks the next guy what he's doing there and this guy tells an incredible story. He was working on the garden of his penthouse on the 11th floor of his building and he fell over but managed to catch the balcony railing on the 10th floor and all of a sudden Abe is hammering his hands and biting his hands and all of a sudden this crazy person hits his hands with a chair and the poor guy falls into a garbage dumpster and by a miracle he's still alive. He's lying there in the dumpster catching his breath and getting ready to walk away from this whole thing when a refrigerator whooshes out of the air and kills him...and here I am. Saint Peter says that this man is certainly a victim of circumstances and should not be denied the pleasures of Paradise. And so, this man also walks through the Pearly Gates into Heaven.

  The third guy walks up to the Gates and Saint Peter asks him...Why are you here? The guys answers, "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure. I was minding my own business, hiding in a refrigerator...."
Dedicated to Morse my friend, Morse is the best Lawyer among all Story Tellers, and the best Story Teller among all the Lawyers.

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