My Mom Is The Substitute

  The teacher explained the pupils the difference between profession and occupation.

Then she asked the class to describe their parent's occupations and professions.  

  Sue raised her hand and told the class that her dad is a bus driver and her Mom is a nurse, working at the hospital.

Bobby told them about his father, who is an architect but makes a living of selling D2D.

"Very nice Bobby", the teacher encouraged him. "That's really a good example for our lesson".

Tommy told them proudly about his mother who is a real estate broker despite the fact she has a PHD in English literature.

"That's another great example" said the teacher.

  Now little Johnny told the class "as you know my father is a gambler playing on the web mostly Texas HoldEm Poker, and my Mom is working as a substitute"

"Substitute?  is she a substitute teacher?" asked the teacher.

"Oh no", replied little Johnny "she is just the substitute".

"What kind of occupation does your Mom have?" the teacher asked. "Will you explain us what does your Mom do as a substitute??"

Little Johnny grinned and explained the class "every day between 18:00 to 20:00 Mom invites the men to her bedroom".

The teacher changed colors and told little Johnny his mother is a prostitute not a substitute!

Little Johnny kept smiling while he proceed "no, my sister Dee is the hooker, but every day for two hours Mom works as a substitute"

The Best Whorehouse In Texas 

How Much Money Can Make A Police Officer

My Friend Roman sent me that clip about poor police officers who are making money from the drivers. They didn't bother the government people, they only charge regular drivers.

The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each of you, you will really feel great".

The excitement was almost electric, as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke!! 

It slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit !" .... cried the hypnotist.....................

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.
          

Bad Dogs - No Boy

Gordon my friend sent me a post about some bad dogs. I can't believe there are bad dogs but just for laugh that's Okay. If you had some bad experience with your dog let us hear about it.

Here is a short clip, about a really rude dog, the clip is not recommended for watching to those who can't watch disgusting scenes. you must see that clip to the end.

Please no hard feeling it's set up, just to embrace you all dog lovers.

DIY How To Became A Polish Widow

   Only Polish woman don't care about their husbands. They prefer a shiny diamond rather a sick husband. Last year I met plenty of widows on my Caribbean cruise. Helena a lush lady from Chicago told me how she became a widow.

Pure Logic

My friend Jack the philosopher told me about the way he use logic in real life.

Yesterday morning, on his way home, Jack noticed a good looking man on the street,
his presence causes Jack to think ...
"That rooster, doesn't look like going so early for his day work, so ... he must be returning..."
From where can a person like him get back so early, so neat and smell's so well?....
Only from an affair.....!!!, off course with a married women, and she must be lush....

But ... Our neighborhood has only six adulterous wives.
Dee? Rose? no, they are now on a Caribbean cruise. 
Sarah? no her husband is back home returning fro Afghanistan.
Betty? but I just left her bed.
Sandra? but Sandra picked up yesterday a Marine worrier at the bar.
And ... My wife Peggy???

But my wife has only three lovers ...
Her boss ... My boss ... and a famous attorney from the fourth Ave, his name is Gordon.
"Good morning, Mr. Gordon" Jack says.
"Good morning, but where do you know me?" Asked Gordon.
"Simple logic, I like solving Sudoku"  Jack replied.

Source

Try To Remember The Kind Of September

I love so much that song, even after the Sep. 11 2001 crime.
God bless you all, just lets pray the bad men all over the world, will be locked behind bars.
I remember that song from the first days, my parents gave me that record as a present for my birthday which is at the end of this month.
p.s. I hate listening to the song, when the smart guys are broadcasting it at December.

Lyrics:Source

Verse 1
Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and, oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September when
you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and
if you remember
Then follow (echo)
Follow follow
Follow follow follow
follow follow follow

Verse 2
Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow
Try to remember when life was so tender
that dreams were kept beside your pillow
Try to remember when life was so tender that
love was and ember about to billow
Try to remember, and
if you remember Then follow (echo)
Follow follow etc.

Verse 3
Deep in December it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Without a hurt, the heart is hollow.
Deep in december it's nice to remember the
fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember,
And follow (echo)
follow follow etc.

Try To Remember - Jerry Orbach 1960 

Jerry Orbach Try To Remember 1982