The Gambler

   The Russian President went to Vegas incognito. As he entered the terminal, he looked around and gazed on the slot machines all around the hall. he ordered his bodyguard "hand me ten bucks" Putin put in the bill, pressed a button and got a pack of Kent cigarettes, wow!.

he asked for another ten, inserted it and pressed the button and now the machine delivered a pack of Rothmans cigarettes, wow!.

he asked for another ten bucks, inserted the bill and this time the machine delivered a pack of Parliament cigarettes

Putin asked for another ten bucks, but Igor nodded "Vlad, I'm out of cash".

"ёб твою мать!" (Yób tvoyú mat' -"Gosh") hurry to the change machine and bring me more 10 bucks bills, can't you see I'm lucky!"

Igor returned and Putin put in another bill and the machine emitted now an Old Gold pack of cigarettes and another pack of Eagle cigarettes.

Putin cry "I've got a Poker hand" 

If you are Russian please tell Putin to come once again to Vegas but now his bodyguard should use this application CasinoTrip. it is a cool app so next time he might enjoy gambling in a real casino.
from their website  I can see they have information from all over the world. Neat site and a great app - I totally recommend it to anyone who travels and likes to visit a casino.

Cosmetic Procedures Humor

Three Bouquets.   

   One of the most famous Hollywood actors, Ms Dee. was unhappy cause of her huge vagina lips. She went to the cosmetic procedures clinic to reduce her vagina lips. She asks her surgeon  to keep the procedure and her name as top secret.
When she wakes up, after the operation she noticed three bouquets of roses. 

   She asked the nurse to explain who are the persons who send her these bouquets. 

The nurse smiles and told her "two are from her and the surgeon". "Okay", she smiles with pains, "but who for god sake sent me the third bouquet?"

"Oh," says the nurse, "that bouquet is from sergeant Smith, he wanted to thank you for his new ears!"

Silicon Boobs.

  Betty teaches her class of seven years old pupils a lesson. she asks her class "Who can tell us, what's the most expensive material in the world?"
Bobby raised his finger and said "for sure it's gold, because last week my daddy told Mom 'with all the gold I spent on you, I could buy a brand new Porsche." 

  The teacher nodded, but told her pupils, to thing about a most expensive material.
Rose raised her finger, "for sure diamonds are the most expensive material in the world". can you tell us why asks Betty. because last week my daddy told Mom "I could drive a Ferrari like Gordon, if you didn't insist on that six carat diamond ring"

The teacher said "correct, thank you rose" but Johnny stands up and shout "silicone is the winner. it worth much more than diamonds"
Betty asked Johnny "Will you explain us why silicone?" 

Johnny "Because since my mom has refurbished her boobs with Silicone implants you should see all the most expensive cars outside our house!"

Buffalo Fighting

Do Son Buffalo Fighting Festival

Buffalo fighting is a unique and traditional festival of people in Do Son District, Haiphong City. This festival is not only associated with Water Goddess worshiping and sacrificing custom but also expressed bravery, chivalry, and risk-taking spirit of people in the coastal city of Haiphong. 

The festival derives from the belief of Do Son’s locals that buffalo fighting is in favor of their guardian gods and hence a continuity of this activity brings them safe voyages, abundant crops as well as healthy and wealthy people—signs of prosperity and happiness. As a matter of fact, Do Son Buffalo Fighting Festival has been long conducted within the region since the 18^th century.
The festival is annually and officially operated on the 9^th day of the 8^th month in Vietnamese Lunar Calendar; however, its preparation takes participants nearly a year to process. From choosing the right buffaloes to buy, raising and training them—all of which require hard work and ongoing effort. For example, selection of fighting buffaloes only must be in great meticulosity as they must meet a wide range of requirements: at least 4 or 5 years old, wide chest, bow-shape horns, toned thighs, and long tail. Also, these buffaloes are kept separately from normal ones, and so on. SourceGreat beasts show, at the end of the day everybody may eat a nice Buffalo steak.

 

The Wedding Photographer Scene

   Thomas sent me last week a great clip which I would prefer calling it "Who slept with the groom?" this vjoke is hilarious. maybe you might find a former clip so please let me know.
Who slept with the groom

 

“A police officer stops a motorist speeding down Main Street. ‘But officer,’ the man says, ‘I can explain—’ ‘Be quiet,’ snaps the officer. ‘I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.’ ‘But, officer, I just wanted to say—’ says the driver. ‘And I say keep quiet! You’re going to jail!’ replies the officer. A few hours later the officer looks in on his prisoner and says, ‘Lucky for you the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.’ ‘Don’t count on it,’ answers the motorist. ‘I’m the groom.’” Source

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Last Plot

  Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau was called urgently to solve the mystery. Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with a very wide smile on their faces. Cause the local police can't find out they called Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau to investigate.
"First body," says Clouseau, "Pierre Dubois, the Engineer, 69, died while coming screwing a prostitute, hence the Smile." 
"Second body" says Clouseau,"Remy Beauvais, pimp, 25 Died of Meth(Methamphetamine) poisoning, hence the Smile." 
The Police Inspector asked, "And what about this third body?" 
 "Ah," says Clouseau, "this is the most unusual one. Jacques Brel, Belgian, 18, struck by lightning."
 "Why the broad grin, then?" inquires the Police Inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken"! 
Inspector Clouseau plays billiards.

Clouseau Must Fix The Lighter.

They Desire To Look Like Baboons

  Some time I am gazing on perfect butts and try imagine, is it natural or refurbished. Butt load using silicon injections help some people. Maybe I should inject two pound of silicon to my butt, cause my pant hang low and always slip down.



Check the clip and look at the Baboons. Are we heading a fashion of the Baboon syndrome.