Hang The Shoes On Your Neck

The UK version.
Bobby complains, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting it up, it insist looking at my shoes."

The doctor examines him and says, "You'll need to tie your shoes and hang them around your neck, this might solve your problem".

The Texan version

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? your Schwanz is hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "and do you know why it's hanging down?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"it's hanging down cause it's looking at my new boots"
Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."

p.s cause I couldn't find a man with his shoes around his neck here is the best picture to describe my great idea, hope you got it eh? now you do not need any pills to give your crane a nice lift.

Willie The Blacksmith

Willie the Blacksmith always wear his red T-shirt with the logo "I got a ten inch hammer" One day Willie goes to town to purchase two chickens, a goose, a new bucket and an anvil. Willie tied the goose to the anvil, put the anvil and the goose in the bucket, and carry the two chickens in his other hand. when he saw a pretty woman chasing him very soon she asks his help to escort her to her home.

   Willie grins, and says, "Follow me its on my way,  I'll bring you to your home safely." very soon they enter a dark alley. The woman says, "please I am affraid to cross that alley, you might screw me with your ten inch screwdriver on the alley's wall."
Willie replies "How could I screw you? I'm carrying a goose, an anvil, a bucket and two chickens?."
The woman advises him, "Well, you should cover the goose with the bucket, place the anvil on top of the bucket, and I could hold for you the two chickens."

The Blacksmith - Andy Irvine

Snake Charmer vs Viagra

 source

Okay my friends there is an alternative to our Viagra pills. But if the flute will not help wake up your instrument, than you may use the cobra or the snake charmer to replace you eh?