Oct 20, 2013

Connect Two Mean Bears

Did You Came Here For Hunting Or Screwing? 
   Gordon's wife bought him a bear shotgun for his 60th birthday. So the next day he went out for hunting a Black Bear. He spend the whole day tracing the trails and was almost to give up, as finally he manages to spot the Black Bear. Gordon shots and hit the bear but, the beast disappeared in the wood. He followed the wounded bear, he was trying to find the beast, but without luck. As he decided to return to his truck, he gets tapped on the shoulder.
He looks behind him.. "OMG, the wounded Black bear"...The 1000 pound mean bear screw him and bolt. The next two weeks Gordon spent at the nearest hospital.

As he recovered he went out and bought a professional bear shotgun and returned to the forest to hunt the MF bear. Gordon was real lucky, very soon he recognized the bear and shoot him twice, off course he hit the beast, but the bear escaped again. Cold sweat crawls along his spine as he feel the bear behind. This time the Black bear raped him twice. The next two months Gordon spent at the hospital.
After another month at home, he went out and bought an elephant shotgun. The next weekend Gordon headed to the forest to hunt the MF bear. Gordon traced the woods for the whole week, on Friday evening near his tent he meet the Bear. Believe me, Gordon was the best sniper I ever met, and he gave the bear two slugs, the Black magician Bear recovered the shots and disappeared again.
On the next moment he was held by the bears arms which cry "You faggot did you came here for hunting or screwing? 

I add that old Joke which was one of Gordon's favorites, cause I read that article which I share with you. 

Man grabs bear’s tongue during attack near Grand Falls Source

A woodlot owner near Grand Falls, N.B., says he's lucky to be alive after a bear attacked him in the woods.
Gilles Cyr said he was walking through his woodlot two weeks ago when suddenly something black came flying out of the woods at him.
The province’s black bear population has jumped to 17,000 from about 12,000 eight years ago. One reason for the increase is the drop in bear hunting licences. (CBC)
“When I opened up my eyes it was on top of me — with the friggin’ noise, it’s crazy the way it growls. Right from the stomach. It’s not from the mouth, it’s just inside. His mouth was wide open right in front of my face so the last thing I remember I had his tongue in my hand and I didn’t want to let go because he was trying to fight me off. So he was hitting me with his claws, so I says, ‘If you're going to hurt me, I’m going to hurt you too.’ So he was biting his tongue at the same time,” he said.
“For a second, I thought I was dead … that’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you open your eyes and see that friggin’ mouth full of teeth and a tongue in there. It’s like ... an extreme sport,” he said with a chuckle.
Cyr said grabbing the bear’s tongue was just instinct.
He said he managed to escape behind a tree but not before the bear clawed his belly and bit his knee.
The bear followed him but then appeared to lose interest and walked away.
He was treated for superficial wounds at the hospital.
Cyr said that a warden told him he has permission to track down the bear and kill it as a nuisance animal — however an official with Natural Resources said Cyr may require a permit. Source



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