Dating Advice For Muslims Jews and Chinese

If you are over 28 years old and you are still searching for a bride, you better ask your congregation minister for helping you. most Muslims, Chinese and Jews need their parents permission for the selected bride.

My Mom Is The Substitute

  The teacher explained the pupils the difference between profession and occupation.

Then she asked the class to describe their parent's occupations and professions.  

  Sue raised her hand and told the class that her dad is a bus driver and her Mom is a nurse, working at the hospital.

Bobby told them about his father, who is an architect but makes a living of selling D2D.

"Very nice Bobby", the teacher encouraged him. "That's really a good example for our lesson".

Tommy told them proudly about his mother who is a real estate broker despite the fact she has a PHD in English literature.

"That's another great example" said the teacher.

  Now little Johnny told the class "as you know my father is a gambler playing on the web mostly Texas HoldEm Poker, and my Mom is working as a substitute"

"Substitute?  is she a substitute teacher?" asked the teacher.

"Oh no", replied little Johnny "she is just the substitute".

"What kind of occupation does your Mom have?" the teacher asked. "Will you explain us what does your Mom do as a substitute??"

Little Johnny grinned and explained the class "every day between 18:00 to 20:00 Mom invites the men to her bedroom".

The teacher changed colors and told little Johnny his mother is a prostitute not a substitute!

Little Johnny kept smiling while he proceed "no, my sister Dee is the hooker, but every day for two hours Mom works as a substitute"

The Best Whorehouse In Texas 

How Much Money Can Make A Police Officer

My Friend Roman sent me that clip about poor police officers who are making money from the drivers. They didn't bother the government people, they only charge regular drivers.

The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each of you, you will really feel great".

The excitement was almost electric, as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke!! 

It slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit !" .... cried the hypnotist.....................

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.