Polish Pizza

     Mark (Polish) ordered a family size pizza. "Shall I slice it into sixteen or eight slices?" asked him the seller. Mark replies "Please slice it into eight, I will not be able to eat sixteen"

Aussie Humor? The Dalai Lama, is not at his age and his English is "Tibetish" 

DIY How To Became A Polish Widow

   Only Polish woman don't care about their husbands. They prefer a shiny diamond rather a sick husband. Last year I met plenty of widows on my Caribbean cruise. Helena a lush lady from Chicago told me how she became a widow.

She Will Kill Me

   Aunt Rose told me that funny story about Dee her next door neighbors daughter. Dee married her second cousin Tomas from Krakow. 

Tomas a Polish man moved to the USA and married his second cousin Dee.

He speaks English but thinks like a Polish, you know what I mean, I called it Polglish:)

After a week Tomas rushed into the neighborhood Police Station. Detective Johnson invite him to his office.

Tomas "My wife Dee will kill me "

Detective Johnson starts investigating the case.

Detective "Have you any grounds?"

Tomas "Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."

Detective "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

Tomas "It made of concrete."

Detective "I don't think you understand, Does either of you have a real grudge?"

Tomas "No, we have a carport, and not need one."

Detective "I mean what are your relations like?"

Tomas "All my relations still in Poland "

Detective " is your wife a nagger?"

Tomas " No, she white."

Detective "Now please tell me, why do yo suspect Dee is gonna killing you?"

Tomas "She going to poison me, I got proof."

Detective "What kind of proof?"

Tomas "She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom, see here it is."
Now Tomas draw that proof off his pocket showing it to detective Johbson
Tomas "I can read it say Polish Remover"

 

 p.s Once a  Polish man return from the USA to Poland, he will increase the IQ in both countries.

Short Runway

   The pilot of a 747-800 Polish Airliner came for his first time to JFK airport. As the wheels touch down, the pilot and his co-pilot were pushing to the max the brakes. as the plane stopped finally at the end of the runway the pilot told the co-pilot "Vladek, look how foolish are the Americans , that's  the shortest runway I've ever landed!" "Tak (yes in Polish)," replied Vladek "but look how wide it is!!!"
I must recommend that hilarious classical music band The Mozart's Group  
Mozart's Group are flying with LOT Over the Rainbow


The Mozart's Group