Why are guys concerned about their baldness? Watch some nutty “cover-ups”. Do you know why guys go bald? Because of extra Testosterone in their system. So guys, if you are going bald, you should be proud. Don’t cover up that badge of masculinity. BUT… guys who go bald on the forehead are "sex lions", those with the bald spot on the back of the head, they’re only thinking too much about sex. So stop thinking all day about sex!!! DO IT instead.
Hiding my bald
I call these guys "Bankers"
They are saving and borrowing hair from one spot to the other, watch them.
I had a dream last night, in which I was operating a huge Yale Forklift, in a gigantic warehouse arranged like a maze. Very soon I lost my way, but the machine has a button "home" and by pressing it we were navigated back safely. My task was to rearrange the plenty packages which blocked the roads in order to enable the visitors to drive and make their shopings. So my plan was to start cleaning one of the main roads, and on the first junction making a right turn and so on. The roads and the allies were named after: youtube, Wikipedia, blogs, portals, music, etc. As I examined the customers faces I find they all were desiring to be happy but as more goodies they carry the warehouse was loaded with new stuff and gadgets and the customers became more frustrated looking always for more. By the end of my shift I l loaded sixteen tons of parcelles and driving back to the main gate. And then I waked up by the tweets of my followers which need to get new tweets.
Forklift Fail (No that's not me)
Okay so I understood the message and I started collecting some of my tweets which I had made Spontaneously, which means that during the day my minds carried me to unknown places. I am making a left turn, climbing to 17 floor, making a right turn, and down 120 floors and finding myself reading for instance about the morning clouds over Australia, and I am so glad to share that piece of information with you.
So I collected some of my first 200 tweets arranging them in my blog, hoping that in the coming years some of them will be real.
Here are the most Bizarre people went out for Shopping. The WALMART The guards must prevent people wearing bizarre clothing or not covering their "nice" body from entering the stores. Whom to blame the food or the gene?
WALMART Scene 1 WALMART Scene 2
WALMART Scene 6
You can now watch some more clips No 3, 4, 5 etc Have just Fun.
Three prisoners were chatting to tell their stories.
Steve: I was convicted for robbery, 18 months, but the judge told me that if it was an armed robbery he would locked me for three years
Jack: I was convicted for raping a woman, two years behind bars, but Judge Abe told me "you are lucky because if she was a virgin, you would get five years"
Nelson (Black): The Sheriff caught me driving without my headlights, so I received five years, but judge Abe told me "you are lucky, because if the sheriff would caught you driving without lights at dark time, you would received ten years"
Three blind men entered into "Rose Restaurant" for breakfast. After they finished drinking the coffee, Jeff "the ostrich" called the waiter, "the bill, please". The waiter told them they ate the ten bucks meal, Jeff handed him thirty bucks. The waiter went to Rose gives her the money. Rose gave the waiter five bucks and told him, you know my policy, senior citizens and disabled receive a discount of 17%.
So the waiter gave them back five bucks, Jeff handed two bucks to the waiter and each of them got one bucks back. Now let's take off our shoes and do the calculation. Each of them paid nine bucks (Ten minus one) so in total they paid 27 bucks, now two bucks are in the waiter's pocket, now the total is 29 bucks, but they paid 30 bucks so where disappeared one bucks?
Hint:never believe to any given information, check, don't let them cheat you.
My Grandpa was driving his Willys Jeep in Bhutan
The British maps were terrible and very soon, he lost his way back to Thimpu
At a small village he hired a local guide to show him the way. As you can imagine, driving a vehicle at these mountainous roads, requires to change gears very often,
After a few minutes the guide pointing the gear changing lever, told Grandpa "Sir, you hold the steering wheel in both hands, and I help you to mix the fuel"
The riots which burst out in the Arab Countries Libya, Egypt, actually started in Greece, moved to France and then to Tunisia. The main incentive that leads the crowd is rage. That's the reason for my recommendation for reading this novel. The Crowd really does not care, about their regime, they understand that the next regime may be worse (I like calling it replacing a mule by a donkey). The young people which participate the demonstrations are eager to fight against the Police and the Army, the insight of most teenager is desire for chaos. Non violent demonstrations, are not for young people, their parents maybe will participate non violent resist, the young people nature is resisting the world order. I believe that anarchist elements are lighting the riots, just to resist the authorities. Most of the crowd is not going to gain anything after wards, they crowded the streets because of the herd phenomenon. The crowd will continue struggling the raising prices, unemployment and boring life. According to my opinion the core message (rage and frustration) of the novel Fight Club is similar of what the crowd feels.
I read the book first and then I saw the film Fight Club (starring Brad Pitt), the film began as a financial failure but right after Sep11,2001 it became a cult Film. With the first news at that awful morning Sep11,2001 at first I thought "here are the results of the Anarchists hidden cells". And I thought about Fight Club motifs. Maybe we are lucky Al-Qa`eda was responsible for these attacks and not the Anarchists!!!. I recommend to watch first the Film, and after to read the book.
p.s If you are under 29 years old, buy also a Punching Bag, and release your revolutionary spirit and or Anarchist ideas into energy punching the bag. Riots are not made for geeks.
A few years ago a Chinese circus traveled throughout Pakistan. One evening after the shows Chung the circus manager went to a Tea House in Karachi. At the table next to him, six men were sitting chatting and drinking tea, then one of them called the bartender "Bring us the duck please"
Chung was watching how the fat Duck danced on top of a pot. Chung went to the bartender "I want to buy your duck." The bartender resisted "My Duck is my core business". After a long bargaining Chung bought the duck for 1234 bucks. The next evening Chung came back into the Tea house shouting on the bartender "your fucking duck didn't wants to dance, he didn't moves an inch" the bartender asked Calmly "Did you light the candles in the pot?"
"Till the Fat will lose his extra weight the Skinny might die" - was my Grandma's phrase.
Don't blame yourself for being too fat, blame your gene, within seven years scientists will be able to do some miracles on our gene cells, so keep smiling. The big shots told us to prevent butter, chocolate, meat etc. you know why? they were concerned about themselves.
I used to travel many times between Paris and London. Mainly by planes but at 1989 I was on vacation and we decided to travel by train, to enjoy the countryside of France and England. At Calais we took the Hovercraft crossing the English Channel (La Manche) and as we were cruising and sipping our beverages, the Captain was walking around chatting with the passengers. When he stopped and said Hello to me and my team. I had asked him what are you gonna to do after the Tunnel will be opened at 1991. The Captain who was a Belgian ("Belgian Horse"slang- behave like a horse ) told me that the Ferry line Company, will continue to operate that particular line, and the company have many other Ferry lines, so he will continue with his Job.
The Captain and me fired an endless chain jokes about sea and sailors (promise I will tell them next time), so finally I told him about my Grandpa which participate the Program of the Channel Tunnel. Grandpa was a well known civil engineer, and he quoted the tunnel digging project. One day at 1984, Grandpa was invited to the Project office for the contract negotiations. The Project Manager told Grandpa, "We were surprised to find your tender at the lowest price, only one and a half million pounds, you must be made an typo error, the next tender quoted one and a half Billion pounds!!!", Grandpa smiled and told him he will fulfill the Contract for one and a half Million pounds. now, interrupted the Program Manager who was a Frenchman, "please explain your approach to dig this Tunnel at such a low budget". Grandpa told the audience "Gilbert and his brother Louis will dig with shovels two tunnels from Calles and I will hire also John and Willy which will dig from Dover also two tunnels, and me and my son are gonna to push them". The Program Manager asked Grandpa with sarcasm, "What are you going to do if the teams will not meet?" Grandpa replied "then you will get four tunnels at the same price." The captain looked very seriously as he told me "but actually the program is two main tunnels and one service tunnel not four tunnels"
I - Every Friday night Alex told Alice his wife he went fishing with his friends at the lake, for the whole night. Last Friday his mother Rita got a stroke and was hospitalized at the New England Medical Center. Alice tried to call Alex but she couldn't get him. Alice went to the Fishman's pier looking for Alex. Alice finally saw in the darkness his friends Brad, Carl and Dean. Where is Alex she demanded, "Oh Alex didn't come anymore fishing with us" replied Dean. The next day Alice kicked Alex out of her house. II -Every Friday night Brad told Betty his wife he went fishing with his friends at the lake, for the whole night. Last Friday, as the friend came to the pier, they decided to return back home because the stormy weather. Brad opened the door and saw the babysitter Tracey sitting on the sofa watching TV. "What are you doing here?" asked Brad. Tracey told him she came here every Friday night at 20:30 p.m. Brad sent Tracey away and was waiting for Betty. III – Alex, Brad, Carl and Dean went to an ice fishing camp. As they assembled together, Alex told his story "I promised Alice a new car, and she let me out going fishing with you". Then Brad told them he promised Betty, a nice Diamond. Carl let his wife out for a vacation in Thailand. Dean start unpacking his gear, when Alex asked him "what about you Dean? you haven't said anything" Dean replied" I just set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. I hugged Daisy a and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she replied, "Go, but don't wear the new coat" Great Shark - Arctic
IV – The four friends Earl, Fred, Glen and Harry have been going each year for deep sea fishing campaign. A week before the vacation, Earl's wife Ella prevented him from going to the fishing Adventure, "lets join a cruise for a week" Ella suggested. Earl told his friends, he will not join them this time. Next week, as Fred, Glen and Harry arrived to the pier to take the boat, they saw Earl smoking a cigar and chatting with their guide.
Harry asked Earl "What's up, and how did you convinced her into letting you come with us?"
"Yesterday evening, I was watching my program and Ella came in and teasing me with her brand new underwear. Ella pulled me to our bedroom. The room was lighted with candles and incense sticks all over. On the bed I saw handcuffs, Ella reminds me today is our anniversary and she like to test something new. Ella ordered me "cuff my hands and legs to the bed", and then she said, “Do whatever you want." So, that's how I am here.
V – Earl and his friends were fishing by the river as Glen's cell phone called. "It was Gail, reminding me, today is our anniversary" explained Glen. "Can you tell me how all women remember those days and we men couldn't?" asked Earl. Fred put away his rod, and said "tell me my friend do you remember your first fish you hooked?" "Of course" the three replied, "but the fish didn't" said Fred.
I was acquainted to the “Running of the Bulls ” in Pamplona, Spain , but Rafa my friend sent me, an Email last year and informed me about an unknown folklore carnival called Touradas e Marradasin Portugal. Here the bulls are controlled by a long rope, guided by five to eight mans. Watch also the horns, which were filed and covered by special cups. The bulls were not slaughtered during or after the carnival. I enjoyed watching these clips and I would like to share them with you. So to me they looks like Weight watchers which might lose weight may be 30 pounds in three days? On the other hand I don't want to call them names eh? The expression Marradas (hitted by a Bull's horns) make me also an association with Hemorróidas (Portuguese) or Hemorrhoids, so maybe that their concept healing Hemorrhoids. The Bull carnival in Portugal.
Running the bulls in Pamplona-Spain
The latest clip, how can they get up with broken ribs?
Today I will recommend on a nice TV film The Ron Clark Storybased on his real life experience. Mr. Ron Clark the educator, struggled in order to change the attitude of the pupils. I hope that all over the world his message will be accepted and many teachers (and school managers) will imitate him and return to educate and not only to push the stuff like goose feeding. Watch the attached trailer and I hope you will have access to that movie.
So our main problem during the last fifty years is discipline, the pupils became rude and they are making fun of their parents, the teachers and the whole system. And my blog is based on humor I add here some dirty joke which shows the real rude behavior of the pupils.
Mrs. Brown graduated college and started working as a teacher, at a public school. Every morning while reading the pupils names, when she arrived to Al Terris he replied "sit on my p*nis" so after a week she came asking Mr. Clarks advise, he told her be smart and change the routine call him Terris Al. so the day after as she called Terris Al the rude replied "sit as usual" The trailer for "The Ron Clark Story" (The Triumph) Spanish subtitles Some rude pupils
I believe that all of the readers enjoyed the famous movie "Scent of a Woman" (Al Pacino) if you didn't see the movie, I recommend you watch this wonderful movie, as soon as possible. So back to the movie. Al Pacino as Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade plays the role of a blind and arrogant Ranger's veteran. The movie production, hired Jeff "the Ostrich", a famous blind and arrogant man, to instruct Al Pacino. Al and Jeff were together for three weeks in training.
On the first day they had lunch in the famous "Rose restaurant" in New York. As the waiter arrived with the menu and saw the two blind men, he put away the menus and asked them "what would you like for lunch". Jeff told the waiter, "just go and stab with a fork, each of your best dishes of the day, and bring me the three forks, I will smell and decide". So after a couple of moments the waiter returned bringing the three forks. Jeff smelled each of them and finally said "bring us please that nice Sword fish dish".
The day after, Al and Jeff navigated again their way into the "Rose restaurant", the waiter now recognized them and he brought Jeff three forks, Jeff smelled them a little longer and said "Okay, that Sword Fish dish we ate yesterday. So let's take the smoked eel dish" The waiter was amazed by Jeff's smelling analytical skills. On the third day, as the two blind fellows came in, the waiter called over Rose the owner.
The waiter asked Al and Jeff "what would you like to have?" "As usual" said Jeff, bring me the three forks. Rose stabbed two forks one in a "roast pork dish" and the other in a "carp fish dish" and the last fork she slid between Peggy's (the cook) legs. Rose handed the three forks to the blind man, smiling under her mustache, Jeff smelled the first fork saying "roasted pork not for me, maybe Al you take it" then he smelled the second and the third forks and suddenly start to smile and shouted loudly "hey Peggy come to Daddy"
Each morning I get up and while drinking my favorite coffee and checking my e-mails, my alpha minds are pushing me onto the web. Like my ancestors I am a hunter too, but I hunt only for jokes and fun, and I always share them with my tribe. Just watch and let me know if you are satiated or if tomorrow I should bring new prey?
The universe contains so many Idiots who are blessed with bizarre skills, and are happy to share them with the whole world. So lets help them. Have fun and share this with your tribe too.
At my first Economy lecture, the professor asked, what is the cost of money? None of us gave the correct answer. all the students mentioned Gold prices, Exchange Rates, Stock markets, etc. After the class calm down, the professor gave the answer, interest of course is what we pay for buying money.
And then he continued shocking us again by giving a declaration "loans shall not be returned" ,
except the workers and small businesses which must pay their small loans to the Banks and the
sharks. All the students were astonished and ask for an explanation! The professor explained it
very simple. All the Finance Industry do not want to sit on their money, they are selling it for an
annual income which is the interest.
So just imagine, that all the loans in the world are returned. Then the banks have no more income eh?" The professor show us examples of famous corporations and countries which their debts were consolidated and recycled.
To simplify the issue, the professor told us about his friend a true story that highlights the claim of the loan that always recycled.
At the Korean war a company of Marine Ranges walked into a snipers ambush. The scout and the Lieutenant were killed Immediately and Tom took over the command and rescue the company safely. All the Rangers swear that they will never forget this, and they owe him their lives. The war was over and the men returned home. But they continue keep in touch and decided to meet once in a year at Las Vegas. . All the veterans were very lucky in their businesses, except Tom which start gambling and boozing. Two years after the war his debts exceed fifty grands and his wife pushed him hard to stop and to recover of gambling and became a man. The next day Tom came into Richard's office and after a short small talk, he asks Richard sixty grands as a non interest loan for three months, so Richard gave his hero which saved his life during the war. Three month later Tom knock on Ted's door and again got his sixty grands which he returned to Richard.
And so Tom recycled his debt between his friends. Every three months he got one loan, returned his debt and have a pint of beer with his friends. The years passed but the veterans keeps in touch annually, and Tom was still walking around moving the dough between his friends. After ten years Tom fell sick and was dying, so all the veterans assembled around his bed. Some were praying some were running the old memories to encourage Tom. And then Tom made a confession and told them all about his gambling and the need for the dough of sixty grands and how the loan changed his life. He remind them how he visit them regularly each three months recycling the dough between them. And told them, now why the hell you need me you can recycle the money without my presence. Epilogue The Debt Relief became now part of our life, every day we read about countries playing the same game which Tom the Ranger developed.
100 visitors from 100 countries within 100 days I always wonder about the ability of an email chain to spread out within the country lines and into to the rest of the world. So we start a newgame, lets push our Flag to the summit. Each visitor will participate the game by asking his friends to participate too. The average person is using a filter when he forward a message to their recipients. Most people have several recipient categories, but on the average they have 8-12 "pen friends" which are receiving the mails and at their turn they again make a decision to continue or break the link. Each level reach new social circles and etc. In huge organizations, the average mail list may contain 20-25 members which can push the stuff to vast circles . In huge organizations the amount of mails running here and there looks like the flood. And most of the staff are spending many hours investigating the "social" mails, off course they are the leaders for moving the mail chains . I play games on the net and when my opponent does not reply I know his boss is smelling around.
Some of the people's email boxes are exploding of stuff, and they do not pay any attention to your messages. These type of recipients always break the chain, but each of us are acquainted with these recipients and we must call them to pay attention in case we need their action. Some of the people are eager to get at least few emails per day and they are the pushers of the chain, to help it continue.
Each of us get his close circle of "pen friends" with whom he/she shares the jokes, the XXXmails, the gossip messages from the office and the celebs etc.
I start conducting an experimental test, to follow up the spreading messages around the world. So if you get an invitation to my blog please participate this experiment, and ask your friends to step in and also to invite their recipients to visit my blog. The challenge is to bring in to my blog at least 100 visitors from 100 countries within 100 days. I need your help to push this chain by calling your friends to visit my blog and encourage them to continue with their "pen friends"
With today technology this challenge is much easier than seven years ago when I conduct it in my country. Today's tools are performing behind any expectation in more than 90% of the countries in the world. So one might see his message spreading from Tokyo, Japan to Timbuctoo, Mali (Tim_book_two) just as a product of the net.
So come and visit us, ask your friends to participate the game too and you will be proud of carrying your country flag top hill, come again to followup where is your country Flag located. I hope you will like to visit my blog again at least once a week when the best funny posts will be created.
Fat Meir's kitchen is a voluntary project, providing hot meals to the children in the neighborhood. The kitchen is located in Bat Yam, Israel and is supported by donations and by cooking lectures.
Meir the fat dedicate his days cooking and serving food to the pupils for a better future.
Every day, the Kitchen delivers hundreds of sandwiches to schools, feeding children who were sent to school without a meal. Meir's kitchen serves also hot lunches to children who arrive at the kitchen. The kitchen also provides them with the opportunity and facilities to prepare their homework and play with their friends.
I know that they are many volunteers like him all over the world, but here in Israel the Social security got a very low budget, cause Israel spent over 30% of the GNP on defence and the government and the municipal authorities have a shrunken budget. So they rely on donations and sponsers. Meanwhile I'm typing this post my thoughts brought me an association about the poor orphan Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens) which need to steal to survive. I hope the community will help the poor children and prevent them to sink in the crime mud.
Please step in the Meir's site and may be you can help bringing some happiness to the children under Meir's apron.
