10,000 ft Jokes

Rude Parrot
   On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a Whiskey you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a Whiskey for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whiskey you bitch". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whiskey but still no coffee.
   Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick your ass".
Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly you're a lippy bastard!" - source

Cockpit ?
A burly good 'ol boy Texan on a flight flags down a steward and says, "Captain, I want a drink but I don't see the stewardess around".
The steward answers, "Actually I'm not the captain. This airline is proud to have integrated many of the traditional male-female roles of the industry. I'd be happy to get you a drink".
Passenger: "Wow, what does the captain think of that?"
Steward: "She's all for it, in fact, the entire flight crew is female."
Passenger: "I don't believe it!! Take me up to the cockpit so I can see for myself!"
Steward: "Actually sir, we don't call it that anymore." - source

Now check the thrilling clip Exchanging Gliders

Pet Scam

    Dee  went into a pet store in Hong Kong and asked for a special present for her husband. the seller shows her the way into the other room. he took out a parrot from his cage and puts it on an electric organ. The parrot starts playing the organ really good. "That's incredible!" says Dee. "how much is the price for the bird?" The seller told her "Mom it will cost you 75 grand, not a penny less". "Okay" said Dee "what else can you offer me?" The seller opened another cage and took out a small hamster and put it on the electric organ, giving him a piece of popcorn and the hamster starts singing like Johnny Cash.
    Everyone in the store looks amazed by the hamster singing. Dee decided to buy the hamster for any price, cause her man might be so pleased hearing country music singed by the hamster. "I must have that hamster, will you sell him to me?" she asks. The small chinese charged her 400 bucks for the hamster and gave her a new cage for free.
    Another chinese customer standing next to Dee, asked the seller "why are you selling that talent hamster so cheap?" "No I'm not," the seller replied. "The parrot is a ventriloquist"

Hamsters can't Play the Piano (and can't sing either)


The ventriloquist Show