The New Smartphone Application

The need create an invention. Here is my new smartphone application the sex relaxer, or as you know the unisex vibrator.

Survey Finds One-Third of Americans More Willing to Give  Up Sex Than Their Mobile Phones! TeleNav survey examines Americans' attachment to mobile phones; finds iPhone users are least willing to let go of their devices http://www.telenav.com/about/pr-summer-travel/report-20110803.html

 

Double Gen Sex

   Last night I was at the bar and suddenly came next to me a very very attractive woman, even she looked to be more than sixty. In fact I would even say she was sexy as hell. I imagined how must be her daughter. She smiled at me and asked if she could sit next to me, I ordered another beer for her and we start flirting, pretty soon as she touched my knees I became horny.
and then she asked if I ever have Double - Gen sex.

Source

I said no, and asked what that was. "It's sex with mother and her daughter together," she explained. "Wow, It's like MILF (mother I'd like to fuck)" I said and became more and more horny, I wondered how her daughter looks and how much fun can be an evening like this. After another beer she winked at me and said: "Tonight is your lucky night." We left the bar and drove to her house. We went inside, she turned on the light in the living room, and shouted "Mom, you are still awake ?"...
Oh boy she was the kitty of the cougar........

Paradise Is Here

   Abe and Dee made a deal on their silver wedding day, whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
After 49 years of marriage Abe passed away. One month later Abe made his first call. "Dee, are you with me?"
"Is that you, Abe?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then I'm chasing my butterflies.I have sex again, rest in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch , then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back playing with the females again. Then I went jogging with the team and just as I returned got more sex until late at night. I sleep without my pills and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Abe are you in Heaven?, did you had sex with some slebs?" "No Dee,..........I'm a rabbit in your backyard, look at me"

   The two pictures were taken at my friend's backyard, they were the trigger for that joke. The origin of that Joke was the expensive fish dishes we use to pay. Great job Ofer D, thanks.

   So Abe and Dee always complain why a nice fish dish cost a fortune. As Abe passed away after a month Dee dreamed about Abe. "How are you doing Abe?" asked Dee. Abe told here "In the morning I have fish, at lunch I have fish and for dinner I have fish" "Where are you at heaven?" asked Dee. "No I am an Osprey at Melbourne bay"