Showing posts with label robots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label robots. Show all posts

Feb 8, 2012

Don't Fuck With Me

Don't fuck with me or I'm gonna to slap you direct on the face use to say the Rob.
My friend Gordon bought a new Japanese Robot which can do everything at home. cleaning, grass cutting, guarding and even cooking. the salesman told Gordon  that if he will add $49.95 he will upload the robots brain with a lie detecting feature. Okay Gordon came home and show the new robot to his wife Dasie, ordering him to cook supper.
His nine year old son Tommy comes home four hours late from school and tried to sneak into his room but daddy grasp him and asked: "Where have you been all this time?"
Tommy replied "I was at the library doing my homework!" *******Flask the robot slap Tommy on his face. Gordon explain his wife and son about the robots skills "this robot can smell lies and he will pay you with a nice slap each time any person tells a lie, now give me the truth"
Tommy "Okay, I was at a Jeff's home playing pinball " faster then light the robot slaps Tommy on the mouth again. Now Tommy became terrified and told his parents they were watching some porn DVD's
Gordon " I’m ashamed of you! at your age, I never lied to my parents!" the robot turns to the right and slap Gordon on his mouth. Dasie and Tommy bursts laughing while Dasie proceeds: "Gordon, the apple does not fall far from the tree, he’s definitely your son!" now the robot move toward Dasie and slaps her too.

Aug 26, 2011

Gordon's RoboBar

   My good friend, Gordon, opened a new place - a Hi Tech bar.  He acquired and assigned a special robot as a barman. The robot was very skilled and could prepare any kind of drink that any customer could name, no matter how exotic or odd.  The robot was also guaranteed as a superb linguist and conversationalist.


   When Gordon called me last week to come for a drink at his bar I couldn't refuse. I entered the bar and ordered a Mai Tai. The robot started to prepare the cocktail and asked me "Sir, what's your IQ?" I gazed at him for a moment and replied "probably over 145" "Sir, here is your drink".  We than started discussing various philosophic issues and continued until the next customer arrived.
   The robot moved to that customer and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The guy says, "For me only a Black Russian". Again, the robot prepared the cocktail, gave it to the customer and asked, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "I'm a U.S. Marine pilot so my I.Q. must be over 125." The barman then struck up a conversation with the pilot about the shitty stock market and the bad economy.  This made me very curious about how it all worked so I decided to leave the bar and return after a hour.
    The robot did not recognize me and instead asked, "Sir, what will you drink?" I scratched my head and asked "A shandy please." The robot then asked, "What's your IQ?" I looked around and whispered "er, er, uh ah..... 70" The robot leaned in real close and said to me, "Dude ... please......don't vote next time for Obama, enough is enough.  Do you get it"

p.s.(*) IQ is declining, idiots are bringing more and more duplicates.
p.s.(**) Please visit my other bar in Paris and order CALVADOS
Robot solves Rubics Cube