May 30, 2011

Readers Corner - The Jungle

The Jungle - Upton Sinclair

   About thirty years passed since I read some of Upton Sinclair great novels The Jungle, Oil, King Coal and The Flivver King. My Aunt had passed away and her son told me to come over and pick all her books. Going through them I came across two books: The Jungle and Oil, which were directed to my to read tasks. I started reading The Jungle Upton Sinclair looks to be a socialist fighting for the workers rights. Nowadays we are again in a need for leaders like him, cause once again the middle class people start to smell the shit those big shots are spreading around us. Remember, our savings are within the big robbers which are always hungry and greedy.    
    The story tells us about the daily struggles in surviving in America.  Every day, workers have to fight to keep their jobs. If a strong worker falls, another wage-slave will take over his place. Jurvis and his family immigrated from Lithuania, and are now working for the meat industry of Chicago. He was young and strong and when the union man asked him to join the socialist movement he laughed. But very soon he himself slip down the hill. and then he became very fast part of the socialism party of the states. His story and the details of the work condition of the food industry brought a very huge change at the first decade of the twenty century.

So all of you hear the Sixteen Ton song which summarized the faith of the wage slaves, which work hard for the company, but they must spent all their income in the company stores.
   The Jungle was the first of many other novels fighting for the workers rights. John Steinbeck in his great novel The Grapes of Wrath used also that narrative. The companies were greedy and were treating the workers like slaves without any rights, they were fighting the workers strikes by brutal methods. So don't fell asleep or they will push us back to those dark days.
Now a days you may read The Jungle for free here 

May 26, 2011

Snap and Clap

    My friend Schwartz has one of the smallest private part you may imagine. He tried everything he spent a fortune on treatments and features but as you know it refused to change.
One day Schwartz was fishing at the lake, that day must be his bad day. he was not fishing any fish. he was pissed off and was ready to leave, when eventually he fish a strange fish. The fish starts speaking to him out of the water "I am the son of the Golden Fish, let me free and I will fulfill your wish". Schwartz didn't hesitate and asked the golden fish to make a miracle to his private part. The Golden fish waved his tail twice and instructed him "Snap your fingers one time and it will grew up by one inch, snapping twice will elongate it two inch and you may snap as long as you wish. but remember when you clap your hands once it will decrease by an inch Okay now let me free for God sake". Schwartz played all that night checking his new instrument. he was snapping and clapping and it was working.
Snap your fingers

    The next day Schwartz entered the best club in town. he was sitting on the Bar boozing his second Black Russian, when Dee came close and whispered in his ear "today is your lucky day man". Dee grabbed Schwartz by the arm to the second floor and after throwing her dress she called him to join him in bed.
    Dee never saw such a penis, she tried her best to grow it without success "hey man what happened to your tail, have you been with a woman before?" but then Schwartz snapped his fingers five times and the instrument elongate to six inch. "O boy" Dee said "I had never saw such a miracle before". Schwartz continued to pump up his tail by four more quick snaps and Dee cried "stop it for God sake" then Schwartz clap his hands twice and the instrument decreased as promised.
   Dee was really astonished by this, she never saw such an instrument. "come to mom" she told him. After they were connected Schwartz stayed still, "move man" ordered him Dee. Schwartz then start snapping and clapping, Chick Chuck, Chick Chuck.

Snap N Clap

Snap And Clap Sex

May 25, 2011

Sex with a Ghost

   A famous science fiction author  conduct a meeting about his new book. He describe very briefly the plot of his book and then he set a question "How many of you believes in ghosts?" About half of the audience raised their hands. He proceeded "and who have seen a ghost?".  Six man and  a dozen women raised their hands. "Fine, has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?". Four man and one woman were raising their hand. The author asked again "Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" only three man replied "yes" very proudly. "Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" shout the author in excitement. Silence prevailed around the crowd, no one replied, but finally one teenager raised his hand.
   The author said "Son, you've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The kid climbed up to the podium, waving to the audience and the author asked "will you describe your feelings to have sex with a ghost?" The kid replied, "Sorry, I thought you said Goats."

The Power of Viagra, is it real or a Ghost?

Believe it or not here is one article about a man having sex with a she-goat


May 23, 2011

The Newest Ice Cream Diet

    How many kinds of diets did you try? one, two, three? Last week my friend told me about one of the most popular diets. The diet is based on licking Ice Creams as much as you wish, but no other food during the day. This special Turkish Ice Cream is made of camel milk  its popularity raised lately and soon you may enjoy it too. Remember don't eat the Ice cream cups which are our real enemy.

Turkish Ice Cream in Germany

Turkish Ice Cream in Istanbul

On the next week you should eat only fish, but the best are the Herrings. Watch out not to eat any carbohydrates. The Dutch's are eating the herrings only with chopped onion.

Even the Japanese prefer herrings rather than Sushi

Akira eating herring in Amsterdam

During my visit in Amsterdam fortunately we met Borat, he told me the secret that in his country they are preparing cheese and Ice cream of their women's milk!

May 22, 2011

Hells Bells - The Discovery

    God Bless America, millions of man hours  were invested in the space program and we are still crawling at low speeds. Maybe at the coming years new technologies will be developed so we would be able to cruise at ten percent of light speeds. But meanwhile lets salute to the great people working for so many years pushing the space shuttle program.

That's remind me the unknown story about the USA astronaut Neil Armstrong who was the first man who landed on the moon, at July 20,1969. The whole world listen to his famause quote "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." but he also whispered  "Enjoy the Lollipop Mrs. Goldenberg". After returning to earth he was asked about that annex and he explained it.
    My next door neighbors the Goldenberg family invited us ones to a party. Abe Goldenberg maybe boozed too much that evening and he told me about his wife Sue, she refused giving him a blowjob. Abe told me she always use to say "when a man will walk on the moon, I will give you a real blowjob". So on my first step on the rocky moon, I remembered Mrs. Goldenberg's promise and I wished her good luck.

We Can't Stop Laughing

   My friend sent me this clip, you can't stop laughing about the poor man. But to my opinion it was set up. This might happen to each man. The belly is oversize and the pants fall down each time, when you breath, no belt will hold your pants in place. When I walk I always hold my pants with one hand, otherwise I would walk like the penguins.
The bride laughs at her father in law

Fart in a meeting - LOL

Believe it or not, man licking shoes on NYC Subway. All passengers around are not paying any attention.

The new Lollipop

The Drunk man is fighting his falling pants

May 16, 2011

I love Scrabbles

  Most words can be rearranged by scrolling the letters I got an e-mail from my friend about some nice anagrams which make up my mind about initials of cars companies. As a young kid I remember my Grandpa explaining me the real meaning of the cars company. But after many years only three are with me.
FORD - Fix Overhaul Replace Daily. I never own in my life any FORD car.
FIAT - Fix It Again Tony, or Fix It All Time. And again I never own any FIAT. 
VW(Beetle or Bug)
VOLKSWAGEN -Very Odd Looking Kids Style With A Goose Engine Noise.

  My Grandpa's best friend owned a VW, and Grandpa used to tease him "Do you know why your car have two exhaust pipes?". Martin always got mad by that question, and Grandpa continued "cause when your sewing machine engine fails you can push your car like a wheelbarrow" LOL.
What do you prefer an wheelbarrow or a VW Beetle?

Trying to starts the engine

So here are some of the best clever anagrams:

May 8, 2011

Smoking Gun

  Jeff the Ostrich told me this one, its a true story and it might happened to each of us. six months ago his truck was smashed by a school bus,  and last week he gave his testimony at court.
The attorney of the bus driver starts questioning Jeff about the car accident, he was involved.
"Didn't you say, just a few moments after the accident, to the police officer 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Jeff started to explain "I loaded Silver Arrow my best race horse  on my truck, heading home"
"Don't  feed us with all these details, Just answer the question.", the lawyer interrupted. "
My friend Jeff continued "I just loaded Silver Arrow on my truck, and we were driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, a couple of minutes after the accident, this man told the policeman, he is just fine. Now six months after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud, please tell him to simply answer the question."
   By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Jeff's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear his full version, please stop interrupting him. Jeff thanked the Judge and proceeded. "well, like I was saying, I just loaded Silver Arrow, into the truck and was driving him down the street when this bus driver crossed the junction in red light, and smashed my truck, right in the side. I lost consciousness and as I opened my eyes Silver Arrow's body was laying on my legs, I couldn't move and my poor horse was moaning and groaning. I heard him dieing".
   "After a few minutes the police officer arrived, checking the dieing horse and killed him with one shot" Then the police officer bend over me, with his gun still in his hand, looking at me and said, "How are you feeling?"
"Now, Judge, what would you say?"
Red Light Accidents

May 3, 2011

Replace The Mirror

One of my fans remind me that due to cost saving our mirrors are not as used to be twenty years ago. So whom to blame the mirrors, the scales, the glasses? It is really the mirror that needs correction!! I think that we all can relate to this one.

The Mirror - Edmund Burke, 1729 - 1797, Irish Philosopher.
I look in the mirror
And what do I see?
A strange looking person
That cannot be me.
For I am much younger
And not nearly so fat
As that face in the mirror
I am looking at.
Oh, where are the mirrors
That I used to know
Like the ones which were
Made thirty years ago?
Now all things have changed
And I`m sure you`ll agree
Mirrors are not as good
As they used to be.
So never be concerned,
If wrinkles appear
For one thing I`ve learned
Which is very clear,
Should your complexion
Be less than perfection,
It is really the mirror
That needs correction!!

May 2, 2011

Our New Holiday

Osama Bin Laden consult his Astrologer about the date of his death.
Analysing  the data his astrologer told him, "you will die on an American Holiday"
"Which one?" Bin Laden asks nervously.
"It doesn't matter," replies the astrologer. 
"Whenever you die it'll be a National American Holiday."
So they don't wanted to celebrate on May 1st from now on May 2nd will be Pay day.

God Bless America